Radcon 7 and Norwescon 39 Panel Schedule

It's con season again! I'm so excited to announce my panel schedule for Radcon 7 (Pasco, WA) and Norwescon 39 (Sea-Tac, WA March 24-27). These are some really awesome topics at two of my most favorite cons. I hope to see you there!

Radcon Feb 12-14, 2016

The Science of Believing

Lots of people believe in things that are, or aren't, real. Not everyone can be right, but everyone thinks they are. As humans, we cling to our convictions as if they were life preservers. Why do we believe things, even when those things are strange or unpopular? And why is it so hard to face being wrong? Science has studied these questions and come up with interesting answers. Come learn about cognitive dissonance theory, cognitive biases, the levers of influence, and mental shortcuts that leave all of us ready to defend our beliefs, sometimes even to the death.

Fri 1:45-2:45p – Rm 2205 

With: Peter Jones, Rory Miller

Empaths, Synesthetes, & Other Super Powers

What does science tell us about empathic abilities, synesthesia, and other multi-sensory ways of perceiving - and interacting with - the world? Explore the benefits and challenges experienced by people with these "super powers". Be ready to share. Excellent opportunity for writers crafting a character with one or more of these traits.

Fri 5:30-6:30p – Rm 2201

With: Alma Alexander, John Alexander, Joyce Reynolds-Ward, Tamra Excell

Polyamory Revival

Polyamory is returning to mainstream consciousness with hit shows like "Polyamory: Married and Dating" on Showtime and feature stories in major news outlets. Learn how polyamory is from times of old, how agriculture and property ownership changed family dynamics, and how certain polyamory models are especially empowering for women. Enjoy the discussion, and walk away with suggested readings to further your knowledge on this fascinating subject.

Fri 8:00-9:00p – Rm 2201

With: Amanda Baldwin, Bruce Kenoyer II, Craig Jackson, Kevin Wiley, Tamra Excell

50 Shades of Consent

With the success of books like 50 Shades of Grey, more people than ever are reading about BDSM. But when writing about it, what are some misunderstandings or common errors to avoid? How can writers present it in ways that are safe, sane, and consensual?

Fri 9:15-10:15p – Rm 2201

With: Amanda Baldwin, Craig Jackson, Peter Jones, Rhiannon Louve

Mind Control

Your villain runs a creepy cult. Your protagonist chooses to remain in an abusive relationship. Your antagonist is a manipulative con artist. A side character is a cult exit counselor. What can transform an intelligent skeptic into a Koolaid-drinker? No magic, truth serums, hypnotic chants, or hand-waving required. Learn the real science behind cults, cons, and coercion for writing realistic mind control.

Sat 11:15-12:15a – Rm 2201

With: Peter Jones, Rory Miller

Reading: TBA (Theogenesis Gimmick?)

Sat 12:30-1p – Rm 2211

Surviving the Post-Apocalypse with Disabilities

Survive a post-apocalyptic world with disabilities, both mental and physical, visible and invisible. How do you find food when you have difficulty walking? How do you defend yourself against mutants and rogues while managing PTSD triggers? What will you do without ready access to medications that stave off chronic pain, heart disease, depression, or attention difficulties? Might some disabilities actually become hidden strengths in a world where society has been turned upside down? The panelists are personally experienced with disabilities and will discuss their plans to stay alive through whatever may come. Bring your survival instinct and prepare to prevail.

Sat 5:30-6:30p – Rm 2205

With: Bill Holden, Eytan Kollin, John McDonald

Diversity in Fiction

Our world, and our fandom, is expanding. How is a simple SF/F author to keep up? Come talk with a panel of authors who know a thing or two about inclusive writing. Find out how to go about, why to go about it, and when to go about it (Hint: The answer is now!).

Sun 10:00-11:00am – Rm 2203

With: Alma Alexander, J Tullos Hennig, Kaye Thornbrugh, Peter Jones

Geek Boys vs. the Feminists: An Empathetic Look at Gender in the Geek Community

Through the 70s, 80s, and 90s, geeks banded together against an oppressive world that mistreated them and refused to understand them. They created acceptance and friends where previously they had only experienced bullying and ostracism. Now those geeks feel oppressed by a new threat: feminism. Except, the threat isn't new. And it isn't a threat. Male geeks and feminist geeks have more in common than we have different. Let's discuss the intersectionality of the geek cause with the feminist cause, and why inclusion, not busty body armor, should be the common interest that holds the geek community together.

Sun 12:30-1:30p – Rm 2201

With: J Tullos Hennig, Tim Martin

The Psychology of hackers and gamers; a male/female perspective

With the advent of Gamergate and the press a portion of the gaming community has garnered, people are looking at the anti-social aspect of gaming and of hacking. What are these issues, which are real and which are myths? Come join us for what promises to be a lively discussion.

Sun 1:45-2:45p – Rm 2207

With: L James, Meg James, Peter Jones, Tim Martin

Norwescon March 24-27, 2016

The Future of Accessibility

As much as we might want a future where every injury can be healed, chances are there will always be some things beyond our ability to fix, and situations where tried-and-true will remain the best course. So how might one navigate micro gravity with a leg cast? Would a paraplegic still use a wheelchair, or would exo-skeletons or bionic legs be standard practice? Could robots replace service animals? Let's talk.

Thur 9:00-10:00p – Cascade 3&4

With: Pat MacEwen (M), Sar Surmick, Dr. Ricky

Invisibile Disabilities

Not every disability is apparent at a glance, nor is anyone's personal health anyone else's business. From mental illness to chronic disease to a variety of syndromes and impairments too lengthy to list, we'll discuss the difficulties of living with chronic health conditions, the stigmas associated, what progress has (or hasn't) been made in reforming public perception, and strategies on getting other people to mind their own blasted business.

Fri 12:00-1:00p – Cascade 10

With: Gregory Gadow (M), Cheryce Clayton, Michael 'Tinker' Pearce

Magic Rumble

Join our pros as they each are given a magical system and debate which would reign supreme.

Fri 5:00-6:00p – Cascade 3&4

With: Grant T. Riddell (M), Peter Orullian, Logan L. Masterson

Creativity & Disabilities

Whether your problems are physical or psychological, there's no denying that being creative and creating art is difficult to almost impossible when a disability stands in your way. Come learn how different artists and writers work with, past, or through their personal disabilities and limitations to create their art.

Fri 6:00-7:00p – Cascade 10

With: Kevin Mathews (M), Liv Rainey-Smith, Mark Chapman, Spencer Ellsworth

Consensual Non-Monogamy 101

What is consensual non-monogamy? Is it polyamory or swinging or polygamy or relationship anarchy? Why would anyone want more than one partner? What important advice is there for starting out? How do you do you minimize hurt feelings? Can you? How do more conservative family members react to these plural relationships? Should you, shouldn't you? What are the pros and cons?

Fri 7:00-8:00p – Evergreen 1&2

With: Sar Surmick (M), Sheye Anne Blaze, Wednesday Phoenix, Burton Gamble

A Culture By Any Other Name

Many alien cultures bear a strikingly humanized feel to them. Yet, does creating alien cultures too foreign in design make them too hard to be relatable? The pitfalls, pros, and cons of alien cultures is discussed.

Sat 12:00-1:00p – Cascade 10

With: Jason Bourget (M), Caroline M. Yoachim, Kim Ritchie, Lawrence M. Schoen

Reading: Theogenesis Gimmick (forthcoming in the Truth in Paradox anthology by Onyx Path)

A young woman finds out what happens when you click one of those "One Weird Trick!" ads and finds herself awakened to a puzzling world filled with gods and magic.

Sat 1:00-1:30p – Cascade 1

Sex & Gender Fluidity

We are used to thinking about people in binary terms, but reality is nowhere near that simple. Join our panelists as they discuss what we know -- and do not know -- about the biology of sex and gender.

Sat 8:00-9:00p – Cascade 5&6

With: Sar Surmick (M), Amber Clark, Wednesday Phoenix, Gregory Gadow

A Thousand Words

Literature may be the art of beautiful words, but sometimes great writing comes from--or cooperates with--great images. Come hear how writers use drawings, photographs, and maps for inspiration, worldbuilding, character development, and more.

Sun 11:00-12:00a – Evergreen 3&4

With: Brenda Carre (M), Nina Post, Gregory A. Wilson

The Human Element: PTSD in Science Fiction

Be it the rigors of space travel or the weight of destroying an entire species, protagonists in science fiction take those fights home with them. Join our panelists as they discuss the nature of post-traumatic stress disorder in science fiction.

Sun 3:00-4:00p – Cascade 5&6

James C. Glass (M), Sar Surmick, Robert J. Sawyer

What's at Stake: A Letter to My Family

Last night, I sent an email to my white, predominantly conservative family. My partner, Jocelyn, forwarded it to her white, predominantly conservative family. One of her family members was touched and asked me to post it publicly.

I realized that it was hypocritical to protest to strangers both online and on the streets of Seattle, while ignoring just a single appeal to my family. I can be just one more sign-holding body in a crowd, but I am more likely to influence those who know me. That thought stuck in my brain until I wrote and sent the email.

After I wrote this letter, I heard an additional, chilling statistic. Death by police is the second leading cause of homicide in the state of Utah, where I was born. In the state where Darrien Hunt was killed for wearing a samurai costume. More citizens are killed by police, than by gang members, drug dealers, and child abusers. What could scream police state more than that?

SUBJECT: What's at Stake...

I wouldn't normally send a political email to family. But this is personal. I don't need you to agree with me, I don't want you to argue with me. I don't need you to do anything except consider these deeply felt concerns from a member of your family. 

Sending this is is a little scary. I'm writing this with shaky hands. But I feel impelled, because this is perhaps the most important cause going on in my lifetime.

I was raised in a certain political environment, one in which I learned Martin Luther King, Jr. was a communist, an instigator, an anti-American. I was taught that the protests of the Civil Rights Movement were drummed up by communist thugs trying to overthrow our American way of life. I learned all the reasons why the marches and riots of the 60s were unneeded and unjustified.

But I also learned that I had the right to protect my life and property, with force, if needed. That if the state began to infringe on my rights, I should be willing to fight to the death to protect my liberty. I learned about the power of the Bill of Rights, especially the First and Second Amendments. 

At home, I learned that freedom wasn't free. That sometimes, it had to be fought for.

So on Monday, I protested the fact that Darren Wilson will not stand trial for killing a black teenager, Mike Brown, in Ferguson, Mo. I held up traffic. I stood before a line of impatient drivers, held up my hands, and chanted, "Hands up! Don't shoot!" 

I laid down in the middle of the wet intersection of 4th and Pine, in silence for 4 and a half minutes, in remembrance of the 4.5 hours that Mike lay dead on a Ferguson street before the police moved his body. As I lay there, looking up at the skyscrapers, I listened to the sound of sobbing – sobs from people who were unwilling to believe that Mike Brown deserved to be shot. Sobs of people who can see that he was a human being deserving of life. 

I listened to the sobs of people whose eyes are open to the injustices that happen every day, not just to Mike Brown, but to each black person who is killed every 28 hours by law enforcement, including Tamir Rice, a 12 year old, who just this week was shot in the stomach for playing with a gun that shoots plastic pellets. 

And the double-injustice of police who are protected from accountability, so long as their victims "deserved it." 

And the triple injustice of black people who rightly fear this could happen to them. This is a fear that none of us with white skin ever have to consider.

I listened to the sobs of Roland and the sobs of our daughter Betsey as they embraced in the middle of the street. You see, they are both black. Roland whispered into Betsey's ear: "Now you promise me you'll do everything I have ever told you around police. Promise me." He is trying to save her life. 

While I was learning childhood lessons that I should rise up in arms against a tyrannical police state, black children everywhere learn that they must always, always, say, "Yes, sir, no sir," no matter how unfairly they are treated by police or the government, no matter how long they suffer under constant oppression.

The risk of death-by-officer is not an imaginary, trumped up fantasy that black people whine about because they have chips on their shoulders. I said 1 black person is killed by police every 28 hours. (http://www.occupy.com/article/black-man-killed-us-every-28-hours-police and http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2014/08/14/police-killings-data/14060357/and http://fivethirtyeight.com/features/how-many-americans-the-police-kill-each-year/) 

That doesn't begin to count the number of non-fatal beatings, unjustified arrests, and false imprisonments. (More links:http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/wonkblog/wp/2013/06/04/the-blackwhite-marijuana-arrest-gap-in-nine-charts/ andhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/08/22/ferguson-black-america_n_5694364.html and http://www.blackvoicenews.com/news/news-wire/48803-blacks-are-still-majority-of-the-wrongfully-convicted.html) 

These actions are excused by police, the media, and by society through dehumanizing, demeaning, and dismissing African-Americans, the majority of whom are upstanding, hard-working, kind, compassionate, good people. Because of these excuses, law enforcement is rarely held accountable for the abuse of their power.

If this is not the kind of police state I was raised to abhor, I'm not sure what is.

So Monday night, I stood within earshot of police officers and shouted, "F*ck the police!" (Pardon the profanity, but it pales in comparison to the offenses the state is committing against citizens of this great nation.) I knew it wasn't their fault, those Seattle officers who did a fine job routing traffic around us. Most officers work hard, and many of them are good people who risk their lives to protect all equally.

But too many police officers are not held accountable for their abuse of state power. Do we truly believe that there are capital offenses where an officer should be the judge, jury, and executioner? 

All this time spent debating whether Mike Brown had robbed a convenience store that day.. does it matter? Do we really believe that justifies his murder? We debate whether Mike Brown smoked pot. Does it matter? Is that a capital offense now? We debate whether he tried to kill Darren Wilson.. even though Mike Brown died, unarmed, 135 feet away from Wilson, because he had already been shot. He was running for his life.

Here is what I would like you to consider.. not be convinced, but just.. consider. Consider whether we should be talking about whether each black person killed every 28 hours deserves to be killed. Ask whether Tamir Rice, 12 years old, should have been killed for playing with a toy gun. Ask whether Darrien Hunt, a teen dressed in a costume with a fake sword, on his way to a comics convention (something I have done) should have been gunned down by police. Ask if that's okay with you. Set aside your attempts to excuse this for one second and ask if that's okay.

Since the death of Mike Brown in August, 14 black teenagers have been executed by police. Here is a list of their names, and who they were: http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/11/25/the-14-teens-killed-by-cops-since-michael-brown.html 

I want you to reflect. Are you okay with supporting a government that allows this? 

I am not okay at all. It flies in the face of everything I've been taught. And because it is not okay, I have been protesting. I will protest again on Friday. I intend to interrupt shoppers on Black Friday, to tangle up traffic in Seattle on the busiest shopping day of the year. And if it comes to it, I am willing to be tear gassed, arrested, and even shot, over this issue. 

Because I am not free if my fellow citizens live in fear of the state. I have no rights if my children risk their lives for the crime of being black in America. I am not free if those abusing state power are not brought to justice, if those wearing government uniforms are not turned over to due process to stand trial for a crime that robbed an American citizen of his most important right: His right to life.

And this is just the grossest of the injustices, which are too numerous to list in one email, that the people of Ferguson, indeed, citizens all over America, have endured for their entire lives. 

These protests and riots did not happen in a vacuum. 

As you hear these news stories of protests, riots, and burning buildings, ask yourself what you might do if these were white kids being gunned down by unaccountable representatives of the state? Before snapping to a judgement, just let this question linger. Think of the names of your sons and daughters. Imagine they have been killed, and now the police and news media are putting your child on trial. They are smearing your family's name, in order to make the killing seem fair and right. And your child is not the first. The cries of parents have gone unheard for years.

If you are willing to bring out the guns to fight tyranny, but you judge these people harshly for doing the same, then ask yourself why. Ask yourself what is really the difference between your children, and theirs? 

Take a moment to consider the words of Christ on this matter: Judge not that ye be therefore judged. If ye have done it unto the least of these, ye have done it unto me. Love thy enemy as thyself. 

I'd ask you to consider one more thing: Stop thinking of black people as thugs. Stop thinking of black communities as crime-ridden neighborhoods where they feed upon their own. Stop thinking of them as useless welfare recipients, moochers off the state. Stop thinking of them as people with no sense of family values. Stop thinking of them as gang-bangers who are looking for trouble. These, and other pre-judgements, are dehumanizing. They are racist. They lead to snap judgements. 

These lines of reasoning have allowed our society to get to this point, because we're encouraged to think that African-Americans deserve whatever is coming to them. It leads to false assumptions about why these problems plague black neighborhoods. There are alternative explanations. Those explanations are just a Google click away, if you're willing to actually listen to the perspectives of those who have walked in those shoes.

As I lay in the intersection, looking up at the helicopters, Roland turned and asked me, "Luna.. how did you get here?" He meant, given my background, how did I end up on this side of the fence, being an activist for social justice causes, defying the law and disrupting traffic? 

I hope this email gives some kind of inkling as to the answer. My principles haven't really changed. I've just changed who I am willing to apply them to. I have changed what I know of the world. I have stopped thinking of myself as oppressed, and discovered that there are those far more oppressed than I. I no longer fret over taxes and zoning laws. I fret over the lives of my fellow citizens who are treated differently for the color of their skin. I fret over Roland, and his brothers and sisters. I fret over my children.

Some of you may be tempted to argue with me. I probably will not reply. Not only have I heard it all, I was once like you – I've thought it all, and I've written it all myself. I just needed to take this one chance to tell you what's at stake.

Thanks for reading,

With Love, 

Luna

The Next Big Thing

Andrew Williams graciously invited me to be next in the Next Big Thing blog hop. He got it from Eric J. Guignard, who got it from Erik T. Johnson, who caught it from John F.D. Taff, who doesn't really remember where he got it from.

If all infections diseases were so fun and productive to spread, we'd have no need for modern medicine. I guess that's why they think of memes as a life form. The symptom of this disease is that I will be posting the answers to ten questions about my current work in progress. As a reader, you have no need to fear -- I will not be spreading this infection to you. If you never engage in the unsafe act of writing fiction, you are inoculated.

My writer friends, on the other hand, are completely exposed, and I have infected tagged four of them who will be acting out their symptoms next week on December 19th.

Hey, at least it's not a pyramid scheme...

...or IS it?

Now for the questions...

What is the working title of your next book?

Emerald City Iron. The theme grew nicely out of the working title, so it is now firmly the title.

Where did the idea come from for the book?

This novel is a sequel to my last novel, Emerald City Dreamer. I wanted a simple monster-hunting plot to parallel Sandy's inner growth, and so used the most horrifying monster I'd ever encountered in all of my fairy lore research - the Nuckelavee. Because I never can be too mean to Sandy.

What genre does your book fall under?

Urban Fantasy.

What actors would you choose to play the part of your characters in a movie rendition?

Scarlett Johansson would make a pretty decent Sandy, as long as she's wearing reading glasses.

Only with auburn hair.

Phaesyle should be played by Elle Fanning.

Woops, did I accidentally trick you with enigmatic phrasing again?
I'm such a faerie!

Kirsten Dunst has the perfect face to play Gretel - round and youthful, almost childlike.

Only with round glasses and an accent.

Jamie Hyneman of Mythbusters might make a good Hollis, if he had long white hair and shaved everything below his nose instead. Philip Seymour Hoffman has the right versatility and subtly as an actor, but not quite the right face.

Hollis is likely to glare, like this. Also he is just as likely to make something nerdy and cool...

...but this guy can actually act.

Emily Haines, lead singer in Metric, would make a perfect Jina. I wouldn't want anyone else to play this part.

Everybody just want to fall in love.
Everybody just wanna play the lead.

Jett would be a difficult role to fill, given her other-worldliness. Aside from having elfin features, she is half-Japanese, half-Irish. Matsushima Nanako or Yuko Takeuchi might come close.

She's a thousand years old..

...but you'd never know it. Maybe it's Maybelline.*
(*Actually, it's glamour created by feasting on the will of dreamers.)

What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?

While hunting down a dangerous faerie sea monster, Sandy Windham gets help from a therapist and discovers why her inner demons won't stay dead.

Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?

I will self-publish Emerald City Iron to retain creative control of the series.

How long did it take you to write the first draft of the manuscript?

This is a very short novel. My target was novella and it went long. I took my time, editing old scenes as I continued to write new ones. I began plotting and outlining in mid-September, and I finished the final scene in mid-November. So about two months. Now I'm doing final cleanup, which is going really quickly.

What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?

To be honest, I don't read enough Urban Fantasy to make a comparison. I do try to be unique, crafting deeply psychological UF, and so far, I haven't run across anyone else doing that. If you have, please let me know in the comments and I'll check it out.

Who or what inspired you to write this book?

Folklore. And I drew very strongly from my own experiences with hunting faeries personal growth and trauma recovery. Metaphorically, Sandy's struggles in Emerald City Iron mirror my own during the past year. I learned as much from her as she learned from me.

What else about the book might pique the reader's interest?

Seattle. Faeries. Danger. New characters. Thematic metaphors. Harpoon cannons. Squirt guns. Beach battles. Surprises. Tir Nan Og. Angry elves. Abandoned buildings. Drinking. Hallucinations. Cellar Demons. Bodies. Mutilated cattle. Explosions. Boats. Seagull poop. Trespassing.

Tag, You're It

The following four authors are totally cool, and they're all working on the Next Big Thing. Be sure to visit they're blogs on December 19th to catch a glimpse of their projects.

John Nakamura Remy
Andrew Rosenberg
Elf Sternberg
Jennifer Brozek

A Hint of Emerald City Hunter (photo)

The below photo is from one of the settings in my work in progress, Emerald City Hunter.  Can you guess where in Seattle it is?

Somewhere in Seattle, WA

Wayward Reading - June 29th

Two exciting announcements this week!

Reading at Wayward Coffeehouse

I am booked for my first debut live author reading at Wayward Coffeehouse in Seattle with my friend, horror author Michael Montoure!

Michael has a long background of doing readings at Seattle venues and at cons in various places.  His short story collection, Slices, is awesome, and available at Amazon in Kindle and print.

I have performed an author reading once before, but on video.  This will be my first live performance.

I will be reading three pieces:

• Let the Bugs Work Themselves Out,  a sci-fi short story about ants and hackers.
• The Metro Gnome, a story set in my Dreams by Streetlight world, about a gnome on the 358 bus.
• An excerpt from Emerald City Dreamer.

Details: Wayward Coffeehouse in north Seattle.  June 29th, 8pm-10pm. Directions

The other announcement is my book blog tour, starting next week.

Gender Politics on Game Night: "Apples to Apples" vs "Blokus"

I love games.  I love games of every type: LARP, PC, console, board, card, RPG, strategy, and puzzle games.  I like games that are difficult, that make me think.  And I love games where I can sit back and relax and do something mindless for hours.  I love meaningless social games where everyone wins.  And hardcore competitive games where the loud shout of "Headshot!" booms bass from my speakers in a crowded room of a LAN party.

I'm really good at many games, and pretty good at most games.  I used to avoid games I totally suck at, but lately I can play them without caring too much about winning.

For many years, off and on, I've hosted game nights where random friends show up bearing games and snacks.  A card or board game is selected by democratic process, and fun is had by all.

A few years ago, I attended a large game night with twenty or thirty attendees in a large house.  Some of the people I knew pretty well, and others were new to me.  We had enough people for two or three simultaneous games.  At some point, Apples to Apples was starting up in the living room, and Blokus was coming out the dining room.

In case you're not familiar, let me describe these games.  Apples to Apples is a party game that large groups can play.  The rules and strategy are very simple.

A very girly card played during a very girly game.

The judge draws a card.  In this example, he reads, "Touchy-Feely! Affectionate; Tactile, Huggy!"  Players then select from their hands cards they think the judge will find most touchy-feely...  They throw them into the pile upside down, and the judge reads off all the red cards in a dramatic or amusing fashion, explaining the rejects before settling on the winner.  In my case, here I would choose "spiders", because I freaking love adorable cuddly spiders.

In this example, "Risky", I'd choose "Cocaine"... because when I use a wood chipper, I know exactly who I'm putting in there and why.

Blokus is a very different game.  There are a fixed number of players, up to four, and four works best.  You are given a pile of brightly colored geometric shapes and a series of specific rules on how to place them on the board.  Your goal is to lay down as many of the pieces as possible while blocking your opponents' ability to do the same.  It is a highly competitive game requiring feats of logic.

The only 8-bit board game.

These two games could not be any more different from each other.  And I love both equally.  Depending on who I'm playing with, I'm usually more likely to win Blokus than Apples to Apples... and as I said, everyone wins Apples to Apples.

So we're at this party, where an Apples to Apples game is forming.  I'm standing in the dining room with two other guys, and we're trying to talk another guy into being the fourth player in Blokus.  One of the guys, someone I've not met before, says something like, "It's better than that girl-game they've got going in there."

Errrrt.  Time to bust out my newly-formed infant inner-feminist.

There was a time when I'd let this comment slide.  After all, who wants to be the rude angry bra-burner, when he's perfectly innocent just ignorant and we're all just trying to have a little fun?  The fear bubbles up -- how am I going to put this complicated concept into words he'll understand?

I turned on him and opened my mouth in spite of my fears.  I said, "What?"

He repeats what he'd said, then makes some excuse.  "You know, it's a girl-game.  What's wrong with that?"

"And I suppose Blokus is a boy's game?"

He nods, a little sheepishly, but only a little.  "It's no big deal," he says.  "You know what I mean."

"It is a big deal," I say.  Then I explain to him, exactly and persuasively, what I mean.  I ask him, "Do you work in the IT field?"  Most guys at these Seattle game nights are.  He nods.

At this point in my life, I had worked in IT for ten years.  Ask any woman who has worked in IT for long.  I had experienced what most of us have:

• A former boss spent most of our conversations staring at my breasts.
• I'd been denied promotions, only to have outside male-hires fill those positions.
• When answering the tech line on the phone, I'd heard the words, "I'm sorry, I was trying to reach tech support... can you transfer me?" more than once.
• I'd had persuasive arguments for decisions ignored until my male underlings said the same things to the same people, and then the decisions were made.
• I was repeatedly honored for being an awesome "webmistress", then a "guru", then a "rockstar", yet continually made 40% of the market average for my position. 
• If you had any kind of computer problem, I could solve it, but had a hard time convincing a lot of men that my opinions were worth anything.
• I went years thinking I was the only women this ever happened to.

I also had won almost every Blokus game I'd played up to that point.

So I say to him, "Most likely you are or will be in a position to hire."

He nods.

"And you think that women are good at social word-association touchy-feeling games, and uninterested in logic games.  Which means you may generally think women are bad at logic."

At this point he says something about thinking not all women were bad at logic.  Obviously some women are good at logic.

"That's a problem," I said.  "Because the IT field requires logic as a primary skill.  Someday, you will interview two applicants of equal experience and skills.  One will be a woman, and the other a man.  And the woman will have to somehow prove to you that she logical enough to get the job.  The man won't.  That is why it's a big deal."

He looked abashed.  He looked convinced.  We went on to play Blokus, and I won.  I pwned three guys in a competitive game of logic and strategy, and I hope at least one will someday interview a woman and remember that night.  And that she will get the job.  And that she will be treated well at that job, and that her opinion will matter, and that she will have equal opportunities for advancement.

This personal story is important on this week when a sexual harassment lawsuit is beginning in Silicon Valley.  Liberal geeks on the West Coast, in the IT field, consider themselves open minded, advanced, pushing the envelope not just in the tech fields, but in culture and social interaction as well.  The geek men in Seattle have long hair and wear kilts and T-Shirts with swear words and they are sex-positive and tolerant and they're well-read on advanced concepts of political theory and history and .. well, they're aware, and they're smart.

Geeks should know better.  Yet according to employment statistics, they don't.  According to that one guy, at that one game night, they don't.  Women are less likely to enter the computer field, less likely to climb the ladder to management and executive levels, less likely to make as much as men in the same positions, and more likely to leave the computer field for a new career.  (I did.)

There are a lot of reasons for these stats, and I'm willing to acknowledge there are many factors, including pregnancy, women's difficulty with knowing how to negotiate, and women's tendency to try to be "nice".

Yet I cannot overstate how men's attitudes towards women play a direct role in keeping women discouraged.  I was strongly motivated in my career, not only to make more money, but to influence my company.  No matter where I worked, I always wanted to help my company succeed.  I wanted to make operations more efficient, I wanted to make our systems run as smoothly as possible.  I wanted our products to be better.  And I invested a lot of thought and energy at each company towards these goals.  I didn't see myself as any different than my male co-workers.  But they did.

Being shot down repeatedly is demoralizing enough.  To know that at least some of those times I was dismissed because of my gender is intolerable.  At one company, early in my career, I'd been shot down so many times, I remember finally giving in and giving up.  (Especially when they kept hiring men for the IT Manager role that I was basically doing, without the title or pay.)  I decided to stop rocking the boat and just settle into the shoes they wanted me to fill... just fix the computers and make everything run, without a budget or the authority to make decisions that no one was making.  I literally kept the network together with duct tape.

What they needed:  A smart, driven person to make decisions and keep the network running.
What they had:  A smart, driven person to make decisions and keep the network running who happened to be female.

The Silicon Valley lawsuit story combines with another new story.  Global labor statistics reveal the jobs most difficult to fill.  Even with unemployment at 8.2%, STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Math) jobs continue to go unfilled at crippling rates, especially in hard-logic roles like Infosec and Network Architecture (two fields which were options on my career path).  Of the top five hardest positions to fill, STEM fields make up four of them, including IT jobs.  49% of companies in the US have difficulty filling jobs.

These numbers will have a huge impact on our country's role as a technology innovator.  It will have a huge impact on our GDP.

Is it just a coincidence that fewer women are entering these fields during the same period that these fields are starving for employees?  Women make up half of our population -- shouldn't we be represented 50/50 in STEM jobs at IT firms?  And shouldn't women help run these companies?  I worked for five tech companies in my career, and with one exception where a small consulting firm was started and owned by a woman, the only women in C-level positions were in HR and Marketing.

Gender stereotypes might be funny to joke about at parties.  They might not seem like a "big deal".  It's all good.  It's just game night.  But real women are being hired and fired based on that stereotype.  Women who could contribute.  Women who might help your bottom line.  Women who probably would take your company to the next level against your competitors, if only you'd listen to them, if only you'd give them credit, and if only you'd pay them what they're worth.  Women who could help keep this economy afloat if society would only stop barring and discouraging them from positions that are desperately needed.

One thing I can say for sure.  This woman will gladly challenge you to a game of Blokus, because there's a strong chance I'll win.