Career Crossroads

Instead of working on Emerald City Iron like I was supposed to, I've spent the last month soul-searching. That's a rose-colored way to say "being existentially depressed wondering about the purpose of life and being totally unable to get any work done." I'm sure either sounds glamorous, but I assure you, it's pretty much not. Though now that I'm putting it this way, and looking back, it does seem a bit more dramatic and interesting than it really was. But maybe that's how lived stories are. They aren't really all that fun until you reach the end and know that everything is going to work out. 

For now anyway.

I suppose I imagined I'd coming out the other side all psyched up to finally finish Emerald City Iron a couple of months late. Instead, I've learned that perhaps I will never finish ECI.

TL;DR: I'm taking an extended hiatus from writing novels so I can focus on nonfiction books, short fiction, and nonfiction blog posts.

I'm going to steer my ship away from writing novels for awhile. And in writer-time, awhile means years. 

Instead, I'd like to write another nonfiction book, more nonfiction blog posts (particularly about autism and social justice), and continue to write and publish short stories.

There are lots of pros and cons to this choice. The most painful part has to do with all the novels I had planned. And worse, those poor novels I've already written that are impatiently waiting for edits. And worse, worse, worse, the five or six people who have let me know very plainly that they are sick and tired of waiting for the sequel to Emerald City Dreamer, and if I don't finish it, they're threatening to never read it. Which is fine, because I won't let them. Bwaha. Or something. At any rate, it ensaddens me to let down my loyal readers.

It's also sad that I've got these great moments in ECI and Emerald City Hunter that no one will get to see. (A cow-car chase... How fun is THAT??) This is a major drawback to the decision, but also one of the drawbacks to novelling overall – incredibly delayed gratification – that I'll get to more in a bit. 

Those are the cons. The pros far outweigh them. (Protip: That's how you know it's a good decision.)

I firstly must acknowledge my limitations and work with them, not against them. One of my greatest limitations is extremely high inefficiency when switching tasks. Like, oh, say switching from writing and promoting a 150,000 word nonfiction book about the phycology of Mormonism to editing a 70,000 word novel about trauma recovery and hunting fairies. When it comes to autism and switching gears, that's a the steampunk of all gearshifts. 

In other words, it takes way too much time and angst for me to jump between topics and skillsets like that. Especially on big projects grappling with big topics. It also duplicates my work when it comes to promotion and making contacts in each field. Selling urban fantasy is exactly the same as selling recovery books to ex-religionists... Only I have to do it twice in two different communities with twice the number of emails, tweets, blog posts, and potential travel.

If I didn't have the brain I have, I might be able to navigate that level of executive function. But then I also wouldn't be able to write the things I write. Even Supernerd has her crypto-night. (Inability to resist awkward puns is yet another weakness of mine.)

So it comes down to deciding what is most important. What do I want most to accomplish?

I have lots and lots of things to say. Overall, that's my greatest goal. How can I say them, and how can I say them to the greatest number of interested people?

The answer seems to be nonfiction and short fiction.

The novels market is way too flooded to get noticed. And while I can write a novel draft very quickly (two-time NaNoWriMo champion), and I can edit prose very quickly, editing a complex novel-length narrative seems to take ages. It's the bits of plot and character development and nuance that has to remain just right over 60,000-130,000 words that fouls me up. I can do it; it just takes too long.

Meanwhile, I have all these fiction ideas that want to be released into the wild. I have worlds to build (That's my favorite part.) I have characters and settings and fun to create. And I want to do it over and over again. I can do all that much more quickly through short fiction. The dozen short stories I've published, or come close to publishing, in the last five years have given me a much greater sense of satisfaction than the three novel drafts that no one has read because it takes so damn long to get them out the door. And then once I do, still no one reads them, because there are 3.3 million novels on Amazon.

If I could be more prolific, my novels would rise to the top. But it takes lots of novels. And as I've pointed out, I'm Slowly Slowpants McWriter. I know I can write a good novel, but it takes more than that to be successful as a novelist.. And I don't have what it takes. At least not right now, not at this place in my life.

I'm not going to turn my back on all fiction. I've laid the groundwork to gain fans and friends in the SFF world. I love the SFF community. I'm not going to turn my back on it.

That's what short fiction is for. Most writers have day jobs and write short stories in their spare time. That's more or less what I'm planning to do. I will continue to pursue publication in pro-rate markets. And without the novels to make me constantly feel like I'm working on the wrong thing, I'm hoping to be able to relax and have more fun with it.

For the majority of my time, for the de facto "day job," I'd like to write couple of nonfiction books. I'm pretty excited about the idea of "thought liberating clichès." What is the opposite of mind control? How can people, with intention, open their minds? What does a firm yet flexible foundation look like? It will be based on the cognitive structures I created for myself after leaving Mormonism, so it's the logical follow up to Recovering Agency, but it would appeal to a larger audience: ex-religionists in recovery, freethinkers and atheists, and anyone brought up in this society where people are usually "trained" and not "educated."

If you don't understand the difference between education and training, just put the word "sex" in front of each and see if that helps.
— Eλf Sternberg (@elfsternberg) February 5, 2015

Then, in all the spare time that I'm sure I will have, I plan to continue writing blog posts on topics I'm interested in. Here on lunalindsey.com I will continue to blog about autism and all the random things. And I can submit more guest posts about religion and culture on atheism and freethinker blogs, as well as at RecoveringAgency.com.

So far, nonfiction has been more rewarding than the novel. More people tend to read my nonfiction. I receive regular compliments for Recovering Agency and for my blog posts. Not just "great prose!" kind of compliments either. It's feedback like, "You managed to put words to what I was thinking!" and "You improved my life."

Basically, my nonfiction is helping people. I'm changing hearts and minds, I'm giving people new ways to look at the world. And I'm persuasive.

It's very fulfilling.

I'm still slow at writing and editing longer nonfiction. Recovering Agency took 15 months from start to finish. But in many ways it's easier. Everyday I know what I'm supposed to work on. Nonfiction outlines are straightforward. I'm never in doubt about whether this or that change will ruin any plots or be a trope or be cheesy. I don't have to remember all the actions of a whole cast of characters to know whether a scene change will destroy continuity. It's all laid out for me: this chapter is about shame. What do I know about shame? Just answer that question along with references to the research. Done. Next chapter.

Then there's the money. Recovering Agency isn't doing well enough to pay my bills. But it's doing quite well. It's doing well enough that I've made a business account from which I can now pay my work-related expenses, including travel. It's doing well enough that with a couple more like that, I could be financially independent. I am currently being supported by my wonderful life partners, but I don't want to be a burden forever. They still seem happy to pay my way in the world, but there's an emotional cost, for me, to be in this position.

I've also considered speaking. Again, if I'm focused on novels, there are gear-shifting issues.

Last year, I submitted a couple of papers to conventions and didn't get accepted. But this year, I'd like to spend more effort trying to speak at places like Sunstone Symposium and the Exmormon Conference. If I'm writing a book about the cognitive structures of free thought, I'll be much more capable of hopping to writing a proposal for a liberal Mormon academic conference. That task is almost unfathomable if I'm working on a novel about fairies in Seattle.

Moreover, it's difficult to justify all the time and effort speaking to exmormons when I'm supposed to be trying to be a novelist. But if I'm a nonfiction writer? The efforts all go hand in hand towards related goals.

Efficient.

But of course I still love to do sci-fi cons. I'd never give that up. But that's way more easy to justify. I already go to cons for fun. Now I'm just doing it as a panelist. Even more fun! Sure, I won't have any novels to sell, but who cares? I've still got short story readers to reach. Novels would be nice, but not required.

Lastly, I'm playing to the strengths of my brain. Anyone who knows me personally (or even who follows me on Twitter) knows that once I get started on a topic I'm interested in, I can't shut up. Some writers have word count goals. I don't bother with them, because I know nearly every day I can't help but write 500 or 1,000 words. It's just that.. sometimes those 1,000 words are in an email or on Facebook or in a journal entry.

This will allow me to ask myself, as I'm typing that 800 word Facebook reply on some topic I'm passionate about – I can pause and ask, "Wouldn't this be better on the blog?" In the past the answer was always, "Yes, but I'm not supposed to be blogging right now. I'm supposed to be working on the novel." I'm hoping in the future, the answer will be, "Yes. I will finish writing this comment and then spend another two hours turning this nice draft into a real piece with a beginning and end so I can stick it on my blog or submit it as a guest article someplace." If my focus is nonfiction, then it's all in a good day's work.

Overall, nonfiction books is where it's at. A career pivot. Not terrible major in most ways, but pretty huge in a couple of ways. If you're one of the three people excited to read Emerald City Iron, I am deeply, deeply ensaddened.

Input? Thoughts? Please leave them in the comments below!

2013 Accomplishments - 2014 Goals

What a year. In reviewing my goals from last year, looks like I got way off track, but I'm very pleased with what I accomplished.

This year, I:

• Was a panelist at Radcon.
• Went to Rainforest Writer's Retreat and met lots of amazing people.
• Sold a story to a pro-paying market, Crossed Genres. It will also come out in a print anthology this year.
• Gave one reading (at Radcon).
• Released Emerald City Dreamer in print.
• I got diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. And started becoming an expert on autism.
• And now for something completely different, I wrote a 150,000 word nonfiction book, Releasing Agency: Lifting the Veil of Mormon Mind Control. 

One reason I didn't accomplish all of my 2013 goals is because of that little sidetrack. It's a book I had thought about writing based on my mind control website in 2005, forgotten about, and then on a whim decided to crank it out "real quick". The effort took 7 months (with distractions in between). It is currently out to alpha readers.

Emerald City Iron made it through the writer's group, and is ready for the next round of edits, when I can get to it.

I have a bunch of stories to submit, and one in particular is totally publishable. It's been rejected twice, both with a personal note from the editor, so I know it will sell. I just have to get it, and the others, out there. I set the bar pretty high for myself. I currently only submit stories to pro-paying markets until those venues are exhausted, and then I might send it to semi-pro markets. My time and splines are fairly limited, so I'd rather spend time aiming at high targets, being a perfectionist, and working on totally unplanned projects. ;)

So my goals for this year:

• Publish Recovering Agency in print and ebook.
• Market Recovering Agency, including launching a new website and giving interviews.
• Be a panelist at Radcon again.
• Be invited as a visiting pro at another con for 2015. Norwescon would be nice.
• Speak at Defcon.
• Speak elsewhere, either a seminar, or Exmormon Foundation, or some convention related to cults or religion, on the topic of mind control.
• Write a whole bunch of blog posts on autism and mind control.
• Release Emerald City Iron.
• Complete a major step in a novel: Either write the first draft of the next Dreams by Streetlight book or the second draft of The Sun Never Rises.
• Sell two stories to pro-paying markets. I'd really love to sell to an anthology.

If that seems like alot, it's because it is. So we'll see. :) There's a significant chance I will be caught up in marketing Recovering Agency for many months. It's already generated plenty of interest. I need to be okay with dropping many of the above goals in trade for promoting a book that could really help people. And maybe pay some bills in the process.

So here's to 2014. May it be a very good year for all of us.

Splines Theory: A Spoons Metaphor for Autism

An incident occurred last week where my child unexpectedly needed a ride to school in the middle of my writing session. And it ruined my whole day. Why?

I knew it had to do with Aspergers, but I wanted to know more. Puzzling over this question, I went in search for the perfect metaphor to describe the experience.

I love the spoons metaphor for invisible disabilities. It describes a portion of my world, and it goes something like this: Every morning, most typical people wake up with infinite spoons. They don't even think of spoons as a resource because they almost never run out. They can easily choose to do this or that without risking much other than time consumption. Sure, they get tired by the end of a full day, but generally they have enough spoons to do all the normal things. It's a gift they take for granted.

Those with chronic pain or serious illness or certain types of mental illness, like depression, only get twelve or twenty spoons a day. Each activity, even small things like getting dressed or making breakfast, takes a spoon. Careful choices must be made about how the spoons are spent; otherwise, they will be gone before the day is through. Or worse. A bad spoon-management choice might leave them without spoons for several days.

There is no spoon. It's just a theory.
Which states aren't enough spoons.
The word "spoon" is actually quite weird, when you think about it.
Why is it called a spoon?
Oh, that's why.
It's still weird.
I'm already out of spoons. I wonder why?
Oh look, a butterfly!

For the origin of Spoon Theory, and why spoons and not some other eating utinsil, see Christine Miserandino's account on her blog, But You Don't Look Sick.

I relate to this analogy somewhat, but it fails to describe the intricate resource-management I must do as an aspie. I wake up with a random number of spoons. Why? Why do I mysteriously get a bunch of new spoons at unpredictable times? The process of getting ready for a new task seems to cost me "spoons", but that model doesn't reflect the intricacies of the gathering process itself. What about the frustration I feel when I fail to gather or get interrupted? How do I describe the sense that a dozen little things need doing before I can start a big thing, each costing a fractional "spoon"?

Spoon Theory didn't fit the all data for my experience, so I went in search of a Grand Unified Theory of Resources or Law of Conservation of Aspergers Energy that I could use to think about and describe my universe.

I found a few articles on inertia that help describe some aspects of life with Aspergers, like:

• Autistic Inertia: An Overview
• Are Special Interests a Form Of Autistic Inertia?
• Let's Talk About Focus
• Stare Up At the Sky
• Coping with the Inertia of Task Paralysis

Inertia is a term I'd used years ago, long before my diagnosis. The idea is just like the law of motion. An object at rest tends to remain at rest, and an object in motion with a certain trajectory will tend to remain in motion, headed that direction, at that speed, until stopped or bumped off course by an outside force.

Inertia Theory perfectly describes my hyperfocus, or lack thereof, but it failed to describe outside forces I must apply to get up to speed. Or my frustration at outside-outside forces that stop me.

Last night, after doing a little light reading from Olga Bogdashina's book, "Communication Issues in Autism and Asperger Syndrome," eureka! I found it. The perfect metaphor, "Reticulating splines..."

I'm a huge gamer, and in the 90s I loved old school Maxis games. You know, SimCity, SimEarth, SimAnt. Back then, games took forever to load, especially on my old 386. While games loaded or maps generated, many companies showed useful information, like "Decompressing graphics files...", "Loading sounds..."

Maxis wanted to be funny, so their load screens repeated random nonsensical phrases that sounded Really Important™. Some of them flashed by so quickly you couldn't read them. One remained on the screen the longest, while a voice read it aloud: "Reticulating splines..."

Reticulating Splines...
Seems legit.

Maxis has carried on this fine tradition for decades, and while games now load lickity-split, they ensure you have just enough time to see "Reticulating splines..." flash past. For tradition's sake. Other software drops this phrase in as an Easter egg, and everyone who knows the joke gives a chuckle.

Separately, "Reticulating" and "Spline" are real words, but put together they make no sense. Until now.

What does this have to do with Asperger's?

The single greatest resource hog during my day is what some call "shifting gears", or moving from one task to another. Skilled teachers of autistic kids know to give a child ample warning of an upcoming task and to explain the purpose of moving on. Anyone who's worked with autistic kids knows the reason for taking this extra step. It's to avoid meltdowns.

Even the gear metaphor is problematic, because it takes no energy or time or frustration or boredom to shift a real gear. It's just BAM, you're in first and now you're in second. And you're still driving, not suddenly riding an elephant. It totally fails to describe the struggle of wrapping up one task and beginning a new one. For a neurotypical, it's as simple as shifting a gear. For someone on the spectrum, it's something else.

I knew from the get-go that my search for the perfect metaphor would center around this question: "Why does it take so long for me to get started?" The answer is wrapped up in other autistic tendencies: hyperfocus, special interests, distractibility, and "getting stuck".

Bogdashina describes how the autistic brain processes sensory information differently than neurotypical brains. NTs tend to take in sensory data all at once, summarizing, and comfortably filling in gaps with assumptions. As a result, NTs leave alot of things out, and in return for this compression, they get a speed boost.

According to Bogdashina, autists on the severe end of the spectrum cannot sense objects as part of a whole. A face breaks up into "mouth", "nose", "eye", "eye". A person then is "hand", "arm", "ear", "face", "hair". A room is instead a "wall", "wall", "table leg", "table top", "plate", "chair", "floor". Sounds and other senses take on the same fragmentation, and it's difficult for the autist to lump them all together into "mother" or "dining room".

My experience is not so extreme. I can see a person, a face, a room, a coffee shop, as a "whole thing", though sometimes details jump out at me like the eyes on a cartoon character, causing distraction (but it's also a superpower of observation).

Yet there is an aspect of sensory fragmentation I can relate to, and that's in memory storage and in my understandings of concepts.

Take a concept. For instance, one of my special interests, cults and mind control. I can can perceive the concept as a whole, but not without all its parts. Mind control is a network in my brain of all the thousands of things I've read about over the years, and my own experiences, and my views on how it appears in religion, politics, public schools, and the media. Everything I've ever linked to mind control is in there in this massive file, stored by words, principles, feelings, and synesthetic colors. The topic of "mind control" is not complete without all those bits.

Right now, I'm knee-deep in mind control, because that's the writing project I'm working on. If I were to switch to another project, say editing Emerald City Iron, which is a novel about fairies, I'd be knee-deep in fairies, with mind control long forgotten. I need room in my brain to unpack all the details about fairies and my characters and writing fiction. I'd no longer have room for the topic "mind control" and the task "non-fiction writing". The files would have to be stored away.

In order to really understand fairies and fiction editing again, I'd need to get back into that space, open up the whole file with all the parts. And doing that requires a resource which is nothing like a spoon or inertia. It's more like opening a big game on my old, slow 386. Hence:

Reticulating splines. . .<hourglass>

Screenshot of my brain reticulating splines.
Yes, this artist managed to capture it.
Credit: Jon Storm

It makes sense that a complex topic or project, like mind control or fairies, would take a long time to shift into. That would be difficult for anyone. But what is harder to describe is how the little things, things NTs take for granted, can be just as difficult to shift into.

Reticulate means to "make a net or network of". A spline is a number of things, including: "a. Any of a series of projections on a shaft that fit into slots on a corresponding shaft, enabling both to rotate together. b. The groove or slot for such a projection."

When I switch tasks, I am making a network of all the projections and grooves and slots and shafts and strips of metal and curve-drawing tools and geometrical maths used to draw up the task. I am loading and linking together all the details in my brain that are connected to the project at hand. And that's going to take time, whether that project is making a phone call, disciplining the dog, or writing a novel.

It doesn't just take time. It takes a bunch of energy and processing resources. It isn't fun at all. My brain has to work really, really hard. So when something interrupts me, and demands I dump the loaded program to load up a new program, I get very frustrated. When I've got lots of annoying little errands to do outside the scope of my main project, I lose splines and spoons. The more do this in a day, the more frustration builds.

For instance, if I need to make a phone call about a bill, I need to gather the phone number, collect all the data about the bill, and get into the frame of mind to make the call. For me, that requires gathering lots of little pieces, and on my hardware, it's slow loading. On NT hardware, it might flash by, "Reticulating splines!" so fast you can't even see it. Yet because I have more splines, they take longer to reticulate.

This is why, when I made and took twenty phonecalls a day as part of my tech support job, talking on the phone was relatively easy. It didn't take a lot of spoons, because it wasn't reticulating many splines. The "talk on the phone solving technical problems" program was all loaded up. It stayed in memory for years.

These days, using the phone requires all kinds of splines. And when I need to reticulate that many splines, it ends up costing spoons.

Likewise when I ran Sapioscape, an online retail business, I ran to the post office every day, shipping 3-5 boxes at a time. I was efficient, and it was even a pretty fun. Sometimes I still miss those days.

Now, when I need to ship just one box? I procrastinate forever and the task seems impossible. Because I have to reticulate every single spline related to packaging a shipping and item. It's a rather complex task for me, because my memory has stored each step as a separate thing that I have to recompile.

Same goes for home improvement tasks. I loved remodeling my house. I couldn't wait to get home and build bedrooms in the basement, retrofit foundations for earthquakes. and landscape the yard. Now? Hanging a picture seems impossible. Because I have to remember where I keep the nails and how to use a hammer.

Computers can run multiple programs in background, and so can I, which is fortunate. I can keep one or two complex tasks, and several small items partially loaded into memory. So at the end of the day, I can reticulate splines on some smaller tasks and recreational activities (which also require splines), and switch back to the big project again the next day.

It's not entirely free of cost. I can't just Alt-Tab. A few splines get lost and have to be regenerated again in the morning. If I do too many side-tasks or have too many interruptions or too much time passes, loading up the main project begins to cost more and more.

Part of my spline-management system involves ridding myself of potential interruptions before I can start on my real work for the day. So I invest alot of initial spoons and splines into dealing with small tasks. I try to make sure Prince Ryuk of Pomerania (the dog) is happy. I feed myself and make tea. I deal with email and twitter. I cycle through my ritual of lighting candles and taking meds and turning on music. I let kids and other events interrupt me during this time, and work as fast as I can to get through this routine so I can get to my real work. Sometimes even then my brain isn't into gear, and maybe by that time, I'm hungry again or out of tea. I stare at the blank page a few moments, and I'm back to checking twitter or fiddling with things on my desk.

Somedays, I can reticulate my splines within an hour, and I have an amazingly productive writing day. Other days, it takes many hours. With each passing moment, the frustration builds. I fear I won't be productive, that I'm wasting time, that my book will never be written. It's just like waiting for your favorite game to load on an old, slow 386. You're eager to get started, but those damn splines are still reticulating.

This is why my child needing a ride to school ruined my productivity for the day. It had taken me about three hours to prep for writing. (I was coming off a full week non-productivity due to other life tasks that needed attention, so I required additional spline reticulation.) The door slid open just fifteen minutes after I had finally gotten started putting words to page. I was the only one who could drive said child to school.

I thought I'd be able to get her there and home without issue. But no. I lost all the splines on the drive back. And I got angry. I had an anger-meltdown in the car. I screamed at the top of my lungs and smacked the steering wheel. I knew the day was wasted.

I wasn't angry at anyone in particular. Things happen. I was angry at the situation. And a little bit at myself for being this way.

I also knew that Spoon Theory wasn't going to be enough to describe what just happened.

I still have spoons. I have a limited number of social spoons, overstimulation spoons, working hard for too long spoons. There are some splines-to-spoon exchange rates -- reticulating splines can cost spoons, and if I don't get enough sleep, for example, I don't have enough spoons to reticulate many splines at all.

It's just that running out of spoons doesn't lead me to meltdown. Running out of splines can.

There is an upside to having a brain like mine. Once all those splines get reticulate, I have thousands of connected details available to me. That's not to say I have a photographic memory and can actually remember those details perfectly. But I know the parts that lead to the sum, and can look up things up from there. (Thank Google!) If one of the parts changes, I can make adjustments to the entire topic. If a new fact comes in that contradicts the old parts, I can take a look at the parts of the whole structure to quickly see where adjustments need to be made. I think of new ideas quickly because I kept all the bits stored away, not just the unalterable concept as a mushy whole.

It just means it takes a bit longer to load. Even the "easy" stuff like getting dressed or shopping for groceries or talking to humans. All these splines must be reticulated.

To summarize the three complex forces of Asperger's, I've come up with the Three Laws of Thermodynamic Autistic Motion, also known as "Spins, Spoons, and Splines".

1. Inertial Mechanics, or "The Law of Spins": An autist in motion will remain in motion until acted upon by an outside force, like a barking dog or the need to pee.
2. The Law of Conservation of Energy, or "Entropy of Spoons": Spoons can neither be created nor destroyed, only washed and placed back in the silverware drawer. It always takes more spoons to wash the spoons than there are total spoons, leading to entropy, and the eventual heat death of the universe and everyone in it.
3. The Law of Reticulation of Splines: The load time of splines is directly proportional to the number of splines in storage times the distance (in time) since the splines were last loaded times the number of interrupts by other spline-reticulating processes. As implied by the Second Law of Autism, spline reticulation requires energy in the form of spoons, splines, spins, and anger management classes. Moore's Law does not apply.

What do you think about this model? If you're autistic, or know someone who is, does it seem to fit?

Radcon 6A Panel Schedule

I am honored to be on the panel schedule for Radcon 6A, this coming weekend, February 15-17th, 2013, in Pasco, WA.

I consider Radcon my home con. Not to jinx it, but I've attended every Radcon since my first in 1995. Though I no longer live in Eastern Washington, I make the long trek through the mountains back to Mordor, each year, and not even a pain-wracking, can-barely-move kidney infection has stopped me. It's a good con, "medium sized" by the old standards, but with cons like PAX exceeding 70,000 attendees, I suppose it's a small gathering.

Since my youthful days, when I still held the illusion that being a writer was glamorous and could get you lots of money and free stuff, I dreamt of being a panelist at Radcon. Now that day has arrived.

My schedule begins with a reading Friday evening at 5pm. I am currently planning to read my two recently published stories, Beyond Earth's Summer and Let the Bugs Work Themselves Out. If there's time, I may There will definitely not be time to read a passage from Emerald City Iron.

Then I'm on four panels over Saturday and Sunday about various writing and fiction topics. I'm greatly looking forward to it, and I hope when I'm up there, I will actually have something interesting to say. If you're there, stop by and see me!

Fri Feb 15 5:00:pm	Fri Feb 15 5:30:pm	Luna Lindsey reading
Small Press		Luna Lindsey reads from her favorite writing.
Lindsey, Luna

Sat Feb 16 12:00:pm	Sat Feb 16 1:00:pm	World Building for Planets
2201		How do you create a world for your characters to interact in? This panel will cover everything to creating planets to finding names--stressing the importance of building a solid world and keeping it solid.
Lindsey, Luna Gregory, Hugh Morrigan, Muffy

Sat Feb 16 1:00:pm	Sat Feb 16 2:00:pm	Sex, Love and Writing in a Changing World
Fan Room		Alternate sexuality is one of the final, vastly unexplored elements of science fiction and fantasy. Where has it been touched upon, and why so few times? Is it time to examine it, or should it stay in the shadows?
Burk, Jim Lindsey, Luna Jones, Peter Morgan, Christine Tamra, Excell

Sun Feb 17 11:00:am	Sun Feb 17 12:00:pm	Stop Thief!
Small Press		With the increasing popularity of ebooks comes the increasing opportunity for scam artists to take credit for the work of others. As a fan, how do we stop and address these issues? As an artist and author, how can you protect yourself and your intellectual interests? Join our panel of experts as we discuss what measures are available for both fans and authors.
Burk, Jim Lindsey, Luna Jones, Peter

Sun Feb 17 2:00:pm	Sun Feb 17 3:00:pm	Why Horror (and beyond)?
2207		Our symbiotic relationship with genre films that feature elements of dread - why do we like them? And how do they reflect our society?
Lindsey, Luna Leota, Ron Snively, Devi

2012 Accomplishments - 2013 Goals

It's time to sit back and look at my writerly accomplishments from 2012. I set no written goals in 2012; nevertheless I broke new ground in my career. Some were planned while most others were complete surprises.

• Released Emerald City Dreamer on kindle.
• My first paid story was published at Journal of Unlikely Entomology: Let the Bugs Work Themselves Out
• I wrote several blog posts that continue to be popular, including Defcon 20: Coming of Age and Gender Politics on Game Night.
• I performed three public readings, one at Wayward Coffeehouse with Michael Montoure (to a packed audience), one at Defcon, and one at a Redmond Roaring Writers event.
• I recorded a reading of Right After Feeding Time.
• I sold a story (Beyond Earth's Summer Soul) and an essay to Penumbra for their Rising Talent section (published in 2013).
• Wrote and mostly finished first-round edits to Emerald City Iron.
• Did major edits to Emerald City Hunter (before shelving it for later)
• Wrote and submitted a handful of short stories, including Where the Eye Lacks Message for the Defcon short story contest.

It's good to put it down in one place - at the time it didn't seem like I was accomplishing this much.

My goals for 2013:

• Release Emerald City Iron on kindle.
• Release Emerald City Dreamer in print.
• Complete the first draft of the next Dreams by Streetlight novel.
• Begin a completely new project - A novel or novella set in a new world - probably my kombucha-inspired story I've been dying to get to.
• Sell two more short stories.
• Stretch goal, to publish a short story in a pro-paying market.
• Perform 3-5 readings.
• Be a panelist at a con.

Notice there aren't any marketing and sales goals - I take those as "givens" as part of releasing a new novel. I'd rather focus on producing than be distracted by written marketing goals.

If 2013 is anything like last year, I fully expect more surprises. 

The Next Big Thing

Andrew Williams graciously invited me to be next in the Next Big Thing blog hop. He got it from Eric J. Guignard, who got it from Erik T. Johnson, who caught it from John F.D. Taff, who doesn't really remember where he got it from.

If all infections diseases were so fun and productive to spread, we'd have no need for modern medicine. I guess that's why they think of memes as a life form. The symptom of this disease is that I will be posting the answers to ten questions about my current work in progress. As a reader, you have no need to fear -- I will not be spreading this infection to you. If you never engage in the unsafe act of writing fiction, you are inoculated.

My writer friends, on the other hand, are completely exposed, and I have infected tagged four of them who will be acting out their symptoms next week on December 19th.

Hey, at least it's not a pyramid scheme...

...or IS it?

Now for the questions...

What is the working title of your next book?

Emerald City Iron. The theme grew nicely out of the working title, so it is now firmly the title.

Where did the idea come from for the book?

This novel is a sequel to my last novel, Emerald City Dreamer. I wanted a simple monster-hunting plot to parallel Sandy's inner growth, and so used the most horrifying monster I'd ever encountered in all of my fairy lore research - the Nuckelavee. Because I never can be too mean to Sandy.

What genre does your book fall under?

Urban Fantasy.

What actors would you choose to play the part of your characters in a movie rendition?

Scarlett Johansson would make a pretty decent Sandy, as long as she's wearing reading glasses.

Only with auburn hair.

Phaesyle should be played by Elle Fanning.

Woops, did I accidentally trick you with enigmatic phrasing again?
I'm such a faerie!

Kirsten Dunst has the perfect face to play Gretel - round and youthful, almost childlike.

Only with round glasses and an accent.

Jamie Hyneman of Mythbusters might make a good Hollis, if he had long white hair and shaved everything below his nose instead. Philip Seymour Hoffman has the right versatility and subtly as an actor, but not quite the right face.

Hollis is likely to glare, like this. Also he is just as likely to make something nerdy and cool...

...but this guy can actually act.

Emily Haines, lead singer in Metric, would make a perfect Jina. I wouldn't want anyone else to play this part.

Everybody just want to fall in love.
Everybody just wanna play the lead.

Jett would be a difficult role to fill, given her other-worldliness. Aside from having elfin features, she is half-Japanese, half-Irish. Matsushima Nanako or Yuko Takeuchi might come close.

She's a thousand years old..

...but you'd never know it. Maybe it's Maybelline.*
(*Actually, it's glamour created by feasting on the will of dreamers.)

What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?

While hunting down a dangerous faerie sea monster, Sandy Windham gets help from a therapist and discovers why her inner demons won't stay dead.

Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?

I will self-publish Emerald City Iron to retain creative control of the series.

How long did it take you to write the first draft of the manuscript?

This is a very short novel. My target was novella and it went long. I took my time, editing old scenes as I continued to write new ones. I began plotting and outlining in mid-September, and I finished the final scene in mid-November. So about two months. Now I'm doing final cleanup, which is going really quickly.

What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?

To be honest, I don't read enough Urban Fantasy to make a comparison. I do try to be unique, crafting deeply psychological UF, and so far, I haven't run across anyone else doing that. If you have, please let me know in the comments and I'll check it out.

Who or what inspired you to write this book?

Folklore. And I drew very strongly from my own experiences with hunting faeries personal growth and trauma recovery. Metaphorically, Sandy's struggles in Emerald City Iron mirror my own during the past year. I learned as much from her as she learned from me.

What else about the book might pique the reader's interest?

Seattle. Faeries. Danger. New characters. Thematic metaphors. Harpoon cannons. Squirt guns. Beach battles. Surprises. Tir Nan Og. Angry elves. Abandoned buildings. Drinking. Hallucinations. Cellar Demons. Bodies. Mutilated cattle. Explosions. Boats. Seagull poop. Trespassing.

Tag, You're It

The following four authors are totally cool, and they're all working on the Next Big Thing. Be sure to visit they're blogs on December 19th to catch a glimpse of their projects.

John Nakamura Remy
Andrew Rosenberg
Elf Sternberg
Jennifer Brozek

No Mo Wri Mo: Why I Am Regrettably Not Doing NaNoWriMo This Year

I am a two-time NaNoWriMo winner. It took me years to get up the courage (and a lost job) to finally get around to it in 2010. Right before NaNoWriMo, I had nearly completed my first novel, Emerald City Dreamer. For NaNoWriMo, I paused that project, and started a whole new project, an alternative history vampire fantasy, with my novel The Sun Never Rises.

As much as I loved the world I built, and my character, and the ending, I have not read The Sun Never Rises. Not once in two years. I haven't had time.

My third novel, Emerald City Hunter, I wrote during last year's NaNoWriMo.

For both projects, I came in at higher than 50,000 words. Right around 65,000 each. I proved I have no problem cranking out high word counts. Awesome.

Unfortunately, those words suck. Not all of them, but enough of them to make editing a real problem. I realize this is the point of NaNoWriMo, to write words that suck, just so long as you write them. And yes, those were my first novels, so they were probably going to suck anyway. I had a lot to learn about how to make 50,000+ words not suck. Some of those I learned during the writing process itself, and some during the grueling editing process.

Now that I've learned those lessons, I'm going for the long view.

I understand my pace better now. It is similar to my process for short stories. Plan, outline, write a few chapters, go back, revisit the outline, revise some future scenes in the outline, edit the past scenes a little bit, write the future scenes, revisit the outline, edit some old scenes, and so on.

When I do it that way, I end up with is a draft that is more satisfying and very solid. It is nearly ready, with some slight polish, to be shown to my writer's group, Cloud City Wordslingers. It is less frustrating and time-consuming when it comes to editing.

Word counts are antithetical to this process. And it takes longer than 30 days.

November is coming, and I see everyone talking about NaNoWriMo. I'm sad. I want to be along with you guys, cheering each other on, sharing problems and woes, and hitting 2-4k words per day. I will feel a little left out, and a little nostalgic for those past NaNoWriMos that were probably a lot more miserable than I remember. It will be hard, knowing I could have another novel under my belt. But I know it will be a novel that will likely have to sit in a drawer for years before I get time to edit it.

I will, however, be doing "WriMo". I will be writing all month. I won't be watching word counts. I won't be aiming at 50,000 words on a single project. I am aiming to finish Emerald City Iron (novella, already half done) to draft that can be read by my fellow Wordslingers. And I will be aiming to begin plotting the next novella. I will share progress on Twitter and here.

Good luck to all WriMos, whether you're doing a novel, a couple novellas, or a pile of short stories. I thank the NaNoWriMo people for holding that carrot out to me for years prior to 2010, to make me keep thinking, "I ought to get back to writing someday", and to letting me win two years in a row.